just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
