those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize