And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
