i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
