so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm too high and old for this...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
