ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
