On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize