The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
