We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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