in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
