ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
