I accidentally had phone sex last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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