Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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