Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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