Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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