Redeem this text for a blowjob
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
