Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
