that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
