I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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