Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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