I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
