No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
