is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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