take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
