ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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