i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
