Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My ass is underappreciated
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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