Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
