I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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