Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
