Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
