I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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