Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
