The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
