Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
