what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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