it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
