yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
