clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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