Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
