If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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