Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
