3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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