woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
