Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize