I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
