Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
