I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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