She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
