We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize