the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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