You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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