How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
