i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
well I can't set my house on fire every night
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
