I wanna bring you to show and tell
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
