yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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