I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
