you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
