Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
