Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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