I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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