the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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