Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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