The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
