yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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