At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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