Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
