I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
