why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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